Turning 45: Cheers to the bittersweet & the in-between

I just celebrated my 45th birthday. Holy moly. 45 sounds… old. Like REAL PERSON old.

And while I’m not sure I like the sound of the number, I’ll take it. Because as “they” say - it’s better than the alternative .

At 45, my life reflects lots of things I’d always dreamed for…

• two healthy kids (sisters!! my personal vicarious dream come true)

• a partner who loves me and tries very hard to understand all my complexities

• a sweet dog

• a home of our family’s own

And there are things I didn’t know to expect as well:

• A complicated world that often feels scary and hopeless.

• A body, that after birthing two babies and holding on to various traumas, looks different than the one I maybe hoped for in my dreams but one I appreciate immensely nonetheless.

• All the other adult-related realities that quietly stack up over time.

I’m not as financially “successful” as other friends and peers my age - and yet, I’m rich with a wonderful community of friends - villagers, really - who are willing to do life alongside me.

I don’t have a big family of cousins with lots of kiddos at holidays and family events and yet - my own parents and mother-in-law are healthy and vibrant 70-somethings. People who love and support our family in many ways and have special bonds with our girls.

And so here I am: 45. Likely (hopefully), smack dab in the middle of my life.

Lots of sweet and some bitter. And in 45 years if there’s one thing I’ve become comfortable with, it’s the bittersweet. The liminal. The in-between.

Cheers to that and all the rest.

If you’re a fellow middle-age (ish) mom, looking for community, self-care, or simply some more friends to celebrate your 40s with, then please consider signing up for my mother-centric offerings like Moms Yoga Night and Mothers Circle!